Sunday, August 19, 2007

He is there

"Lord, when my soul is weary and my heart is tired and sore,
and I have that failing feeling that I can't take it anymore,
then let me know the freshning found in simple, childlike prayer,
when the hurting soul knows surely that my listening Lord is there."
Ruth Bell Graham

This is where I am at tonight.

Even though I am fighting cancer I still have:
dirty dishes
meals to make and plan for
big kids who have things they need to vent about
a puppy who plays outside for two hours and then comes in and pees on the floor! (not funny)
bills to pay
thank yous to write
dentist appointment to go to for Rachel this week

You get the idea.

I can't take it anymore.

When I go to Jesus, in simple child like faith, knowing He is there and He hears,
that is all I need. He can take it for me. The list above will not disappear once I get off my knees. By going to Him, and asking for help, I sense His presence and His strength. He fights for me when I cannot bear to think about "it" any longer.
I find myself dreading Wednesday. The anxiety is gone as far as what to expect, but the anticipation of more nausea is, well, frightening.

I am going to go and get on my knees. I wish I could crawl in His lap....

On a lighter note, Teresa was climbing one of the cedar trees in the yard today. She took the grey cat Isabelle, tucked her under one arm, hoisted her up on a branch and then climbed up to her. She repeated this process a few times until the cat decided she'd had enough and bailed. Then she would climb down, get the poor cat, and start all over. It made me laugh!

Teresa also today, had a handkerchief over her head(like I will soon). When I asked her what was up with her new "style" she just smiled and said she thought it would be fun. Such child like ways...such joy and enthusiasm.

Girls entered things in the fair. First time ever. Teresa entered a painting she made for my birthday. Rachel entered a poem and I think a scarf she knitted. Hannah entered a hat she knitted/crocheted? and a scarf she made as well. We are anticipating good things when we go and check them out this week.

Blessings to you all....

1 comment:

worshipbabe said...

Hola, Hermana -

Wow - this is so cool!

And it was such a "God-thing" to 'just happen' to bump into you! You really did look like an executive business woman. That short hair is really becoming on you.

I can really relate to this one especially. Thanks for sharing. Where did you find that quote by Ruth Bell Graham?

If you'd like your Beth Moore beautiful book back for this time, I would be glad to return it to you. It was a God-send during a very dark time, but I think (I know!) I can let it go now.

Not sure if you've seen the beautiful artwork that I show around to various gift shops and individuals in the area. It's Timothy Botts' art/calligraphy ( and also my friend Barbara Bosworth's pencil drawings and oil paintings in print form. She's the one who does the Jubilee dancers too. You can see some of her work at Gorgeous, worship-filled stuff.

I have had a book of TB's artwork in my van for ages, for the time when I 'just happen' to have enough time to stop by your place and let you enjoy it for awhile. I have one on display in my home in a cookbook holder. They're just too pretty to keep closed up in a book! I've eveb ripped some out (horrors!) and framed them and given them to friends for whom that was a favorite verse. He also have a book of words to beloved hymns. And I also have his book "Messiah" which is his artwork/calligraphy to the words of Handel's "Messiah". Love it.

Anyway, know that you are in my heart and prayers, esp. as you go in for your 2nd round tomorrow.

May you know His richest blessings during this time. I'm thinking the song "Eagle's Wings" - may God raise you up on eagle's wings! (Another bird motif: Yest. I saw a huge golden hawk swoop slowly down across our front yard and almost land on our mailbox!)

Love you lots -
Hermana Brenda