Pet Peeve

I hate computers. I know they are a useful tool. I am using one right now. And if it weren't computers, it would be something else, like, say, TV.

What I really mean is this: I dislike greatly the extraordinary amount of time computers suck out of me, my husband and my children. Let's take morning for instance. I wander out into the kitchen and there is my Bible on the table. I have every intention of sitting down, cracking the pages and soaking it up. Oh, but the mudroom is filthy from two dogs who have been on purposely shedding every loose hair they possess, all over the floor, all night long.. I could make a pillow, just from this week! So I sweep. Then, I am hungry. I make breakfast. Oh, maybe I'll have an email, you know, the kind that encourages me, makes me smile or reminds me of some great spiritual truth that'll get me through the day. Or maybe someone left a comment on my blog!! So I turn on the computer. Nope. Just dumb spam stuff. I used to eat that stuff, now it's annoying me and not at all encouraging me!! Nope. Zero comments. Oh, I'll check out so and so's blog and see how they're doing...by the time I'm done, 30 minutes has passed and the girls are up and so far, all I've done really is sweep up dog hair and put food in my belly..

Now before you get all huffy, hear me out. I LIKE reading other people's blogs. They keep me informed, make me laugh and cry and make me feel like I'm part of something. I LIKE receiving email, from friends and loved ones, especially if there is something to pray for or about. They can be useful tools. I LIKE to write on my own blog...lots of people say they have been blessed by it.

Remember how I said computers suck time from us every day? Well, they don't suck time if I don't turn them on. Zero minutes are zapped unless I google "dog hair pillows." No seconds sucked into oblivion when the weather/radar/how -many- rain- drops- will- hit- the -house- by- 6:30--is left unchecked.!!

I love to write. I love to share my story with you. I am simply confronting the struggle in my heart. Usually, I do not open email, or even check my bestest blogs, until afternoon, when I am finished with school. That seems to be the best for me.

Don't worry. I'm not going to throw my computer out the window. I really don't hate it. It does have a usefulness. I do hate the urgency it adds to my life. Don't even get me started on texting or facebook....

Don't raise your hand to answer this question, especially if you're me---If I say I love God with all my heart, mind and soul(and I do), then wouldn't one way to keep that love alive and fresh and bold, be to spend time in the printed page, of the very words of God?

I think I need to put my broom away too................
Or shave the dogs...................

He is faithful,
Bonnie

Veteran's Day

I received an email from a friend today. He is a veteran, a marine and a miracle(survived a crash with him on his recumbent bike and a ATV). He reminded me to be grateful and to remember our veterans and give them the honor and respect they deserve.

I needed that.

Something else he said though, that truly hit home for me, was when they went into the military, they raised their right hands, took an oath to protect their country and give their lives if necessary.
Granted, most of these men I'll never meet and don't even know and they are willing to die to protect me from enemies of the USA. I am humbled...

It reminds me of my Saviour, Who died, while I was yet a sinner..Who gave His life for me, on the cross, and I did not deserve it one iota. He did so to protect me from Hell, to save me from Hell, if I choose to follow Him..That is what we Believers in Jesus Christ refer to as being "saved." Thank You Jesus...

Thank you veterans everywhere, anyone of you who may read this...thank you too to their families who also sacrifice to allow them to serve their country. I cannot fathom my husband being in harms' way, way across the world, in a place I can't know of..

With a grateful heart for Veterans,

Bonnie

Us

I've been wanting to get this up for you to see.
What you don't know is that Tim almost knocked me off my feet, (ha) as he dashed back into the picture, and we smiled just before the camera went, CLICK.

For 25 years honey, you've not only knocked me off my feet, you've stolen my heart.

I love you,
Bonnie

New bathroom! New attitude!!

Before we left for our "honeymoon" my bathroom, a work in progress...
Viola! When I got home, my 4 children had been very, very busy!! I picked out the colors before I left, and that is all I did! Isn't it gorgeous??? They hung a new shelf, stained new switch plate covers, covered a hole where the valves were for the shower, got a new rug, towels and assorted doo dads that matched the color scheme--and they painted it all by themselves!!! I'm so proud of my kids!! (And Binga helped too--thanks Mom!!!)
See the toothbrush holder? I have never, ever had a toothbrush holder in 25 years of marriage!! Now I do! Seems silly to waste that much type on a toothbrush holder, but wow, I never knew how cool it would be to HAVE one!! Thank You Lord for my children...they are truly gifts from Your precious, nail scarred hand..

***********************

My new attitude is one born out of this journey with cancer...I am in the middle of a Bible study on the book of Esther...wow whee. Incredible!! I have learned a truth that has set me free from this awful stronghold of fear in my heart..
You all know how I've struggled with fear. Will "it" return? That is the most present, in my face thought I have assaulting me each and every day, some days, several times a day! It has been moreso since my brother's death from cancer...honestly, I wonder WHY Lord, am I still here and he isn't?????

This is it simply...
You fill in the blank like this: If (your greatest fear), then (the result you think will occur).

If ______, then_________.



The writer of this study challenged me further. She said most of us women live in this kind of thinking...whether it's financial fears, job related fears, health fears or some of us have really had our greatest fears come to a reality...Ouch. Boy did she peg me or what!
She asked the question, can you imagine living without fear??
No, I couldn't.

What I've learned is this: my worst fear HAS come true. I have had cancer.
Did I die? No.Will "it" take my life? Only God knows. I am hounded regularly with the thoughts "Why am I still here Jesus and my brother is with You???" The enemy seeks to heap guilt on me for that and I refuse to take it, yet he still pesters me every, single day...


I don't advocate The Message because it is simply a paraphrase, not the written Word, yet
look how it states Hebrews 2:14-15
"By embracing death, taking it into himself(Christ), he destroyed the Devil's hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death."

I'm telling you, I have known this, but now 2 years past my diagnosis, this truth is sinking in!
I have been scared to death of death! Jesus died on the cross, so I wouldn't have to be!
My Saviour Jesus, "rendered powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil." God tells me that His Word is alive and active...thank You Lord God for this truth! Thank You for setting me free!!

When the devil, with a little d, hits me with fear, I remind him of this verse. He runs like the fat coward he is.

This is how I fill in the blanks now,

And if (cancer returns), then God.
Do you see?
He is the "result." He is what will "happen" when my world comes undone.(cancer or not) He is the answer to the fill in the blank.

***************
A long time ago, I was trying to convince a dear, dear friend of mine to choose God. Her life was a shambles, much to her own doing. I remember looking her in the eye, my precious Christian, praying, going to church friend and asking her this question:
"Do you think God is enough?"(to help her out of her situation, to change hearts, etc etc)
I knew the answer before she ever opened her mouth.
Her eyes said it all.
"No," she spoke.
************


Oh how I wish I could look her in the eyes now. I would tell her with a new, bold confidence,
God IS enough dear one.


He is faithful,
Bonnie


P.S. Please pray for my 15 year old nephew, my brother's son..he is in Grand Rapids DeVos Children's hospital with a severe case of influenza a and influenza b. He was just admitted this morning...his name is Chris

25 years!!!

I'm standing next to Lake Superior, just west of Ontonogan, Michigan.

This is Gitchee Gumee, our cabin we honeymooned in, 25 years ago!!!

I found the guest book page I signed; 11-19---11-23-1984!!!

Tonight, the sunset was a testimony of God's grace and beauty. My heart is being renewed every second I am here. We got up very late, ate a great brunchy breakfast, walked the beach, drove around the happenin' town of Ontonogan, I went for a long walk, we had chicken noodle soup and Polish type sausages for dinner, and now we are enjoying a cheery fire.

I am so grateful for my man. My maverick. My gift from God to my heart. Thank You Lord! Thank you sweetheart, for 25 adventure packed years!

Thanks I needed that!

You must read these articles!!

http://www.daveblackonline.com/columns.htm

Becky is a woman recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer and in the midst of chemotherapy...
I recommend In Pursuit of Health. I found it to be exactly what I needed right now. I know some of you will not agree. That's ok. You have a right to your opinion. Becky's wisdom is being forged in the fires of suffering and her words bring me hope, consolation and validation.
Thanks Becky, I needed that!
I also recommend Pain. It made me cry because I know of what she speaks..
I found a kindred sister in her suffering and I am so very grateful.
Perhaps some day we can meet.

He is faithful,
Bonnie

Read the label!

"This drug may impair the ability to drive or operate machinery. Use care until you become familiar with it's effects."


I had to laugh really. I picked up my aromasin today at Walmart because my samples are almost gone. I'd never had an actual prescription bottle---until now!! It had a warning label on it about driving!!! My poor family is very "familiar with it's effects." Grumpy, moody Mommy. I have to share this story with you because this is real life for me and my kids and husband. (not all the time OK?) I could not get the crock pot out of it's little pigeon hole cupboard one day. I pulled, twisted, contorted my back, got down on one knee and STILL it didn't budge. I got madder and madder until I screamed something like, "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" I failed to notice that Teresa and Rachel were both standing there, looking at their poor, crazed mother. Rachel quips, "Mom, all you had to do was ask." The look on her face was one of "wow, I just witnessed an adult fit!" Of course, I apologized. I felt horrible. I asked their forgiveness...Teresa, bless her little 10 year old heart, says, "that's ok Mommy, I know it's the medicine.."
I went into my bedroom and wept..Oh God, how am I going to "do this" for 5 years???


These are the labels I am going to heed though.

God tells me : And do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.." Rom 12:2

Colossians 3:2 says "Set your mind on things above, not on the things that are on earth."
Wow. Well put don't you think??

"FOR WHO HAS KNOWN THE MIND OF THE LORD THAT HE SHOULD INSTRUCT HIM? But we have the mind of Christ." I Cor. 2:1

Dosage?? Apply liberally. Take as many times a day as needed. Take as food for your mind and soul.

My biggest, hugest battle is waged in my mind. That is where God needs to renew and strengthen me.

Would you please pray for that to happen?




God is faithful,
Bonnie

P. S. October is of course, National Breast Cancer Awareness month. I think each woman in America who has ever had breast cancer, should receive a free month's of groceries, because we have to endure the continual barrage of pink ribbons in every, single aisle of the store!! That is my humble opinion!