Monday, November 2, 2009

New bathroom! New attitude!!

Before we left for our "honeymoon" my bathroom, a work in progress...
Viola! When I got home, my 4 children had been very, very busy!! I picked out the colors before I left, and that is all I did! Isn't it gorgeous??? They hung a new shelf, stained new switch plate covers, covered a hole where the valves were for the shower, got a new rug, towels and assorted doo dads that matched the color scheme--and they painted it all by themselves!!! I'm so proud of my kids!! (And Binga helped too--thanks Mom!!!)
See the toothbrush holder? I have never, ever had a toothbrush holder in 25 years of marriage!! Now I do! Seems silly to waste that much type on a toothbrush holder, but wow, I never knew how cool it would be to HAVE one!! Thank You Lord for my children...they are truly gifts from Your precious, nail scarred hand..


My new attitude is one born out of this journey with cancer...I am in the middle of a Bible study on the book of whee. Incredible!! I have learned a truth that has set me free from this awful stronghold of fear in my heart..
You all know how I've struggled with fear. Will "it" return? That is the most present, in my face thought I have assaulting me each and every day, some days, several times a day! It has been moreso since my brother's death from cancer...honestly, I wonder WHY Lord, am I still here and he isn't?????

This is it simply...
You fill in the blank like this: If (your greatest fear), then (the result you think will occur).

If ______, then_________.

The writer of this study challenged me further. She said most of us women live in this kind of thinking...whether it's financial fears, job related fears, health fears or some of us have really had our greatest fears come to a reality...Ouch. Boy did she peg me or what!
She asked the question, can you imagine living without fear??
No, I couldn't.

What I've learned is this: my worst fear HAS come true. I have had cancer.
Did I die? No.Will "it" take my life? Only God knows. I am hounded regularly with the thoughts "Why am I still here Jesus and my brother is with You???" The enemy seeks to heap guilt on me for that and I refuse to take it, yet he still pesters me every, single day...

I don't advocate The Message because it is simply a paraphrase, not the written Word, yet
look how it states Hebrews 2:14-15
"By embracing death, taking it into himself(Christ), he destroyed the Devil's hold on death and freed all who cower through life, scared to death of death."

I'm telling you, I have known this, but now 2 years past my diagnosis, this truth is sinking in!
I have been scared to death of death! Jesus died on the cross, so I wouldn't have to be!
My Saviour Jesus, "rendered powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil." God tells me that His Word is alive and active...thank You Lord God for this truth! Thank You for setting me free!!

When the devil, with a little d, hits me with fear, I remind him of this verse. He runs like the fat coward he is.

This is how I fill in the blanks now,

And if (cancer returns), then God.
Do you see?
He is the "result." He is what will "happen" when my world comes undone.(cancer or not) He is the answer to the fill in the blank.

A long time ago, I was trying to convince a dear, dear friend of mine to choose God. Her life was a shambles, much to her own doing. I remember looking her in the eye, my precious Christian, praying, going to church friend and asking her this question:
"Do you think God is enough?"(to help her out of her situation, to change hearts, etc etc)
I knew the answer before she ever opened her mouth.
Her eyes said it all.
"No," she spoke.

Oh how I wish I could look her in the eyes now. I would tell her with a new, bold confidence,
God IS enough dear one.

He is faithful,

P.S. Please pray for my 15 year old nephew, my brother's son..he is in Grand Rapids DeVos Children's hospital with a severe case of influenza a and influenza b. He was just admitted this morning...his name is Chris

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