Friday, December 25, 2009

New normal Christmas

Oh boy...............this pic was last January when Steve was here last. Doesn't he look great?
I just went through all the pics from that time and sat here, numb. We have had a relatively good day, if you ignore the dog trying to chase deer in our woods.
Mom came over this morning and had pancakes with us and coffee Nathan brought from his was awesome having my boy back here!
I felt like I was in a fog most of the day because I couldn't stop thinking about my brother and his family.
I went out and tried out my new snazzy snow shoes and balled my eyes out.. I came home and cried some more, only with Tim holding me this time.
Oh brother I miss you. I can still hear you tell me to "trust in the Lord with all my heart..."
So I comfort myself with these thoughts...

I'm "celebrating" Jesus' birthday and he is WITH Jesus.
I'm opening presents and Steve is IN His presence.
I'm so sad and my heart is breaking and Steve is in a place where sadness is no longer and broken hearts are restored to brand, spankin' new.

Please pray for his wife Amy and her sons. Holidays are brutal. Painful.
Please pray for my mom too.

I am so grateful for the promise of Heaven..

I am so thankful God does not shy away from tears---I imagine I will have lots more..

I love you brother and miss you...I cannot imagine the sights and sounds your eyes and ears are beholding at this very moment.....

Merry Christmas


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