Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Other Shoe?

Waiting for the other shoe to drop is a saying I find faith killing.  


When you have been diagnosed with cancer, you feel like that though.  
Faith is NOT a feeling--it is a deliberate choice to believe truth--in my life, God's truth through His Word. Faith is an action, fueled by choices applied by  what I read in the Word. Emotions are not bad--but some moments I have to believe what God says, despite how I feel.  
That's how I walked through cancer over the last 4 3/4 years.
Did I cave to emotion?  Yes.  I am a woman!  Have I grown in my faith?  Yes. 


Yesterday I talked with a dear sister in Christ, a sweet woman, who heard "it's cancer" again.


My heart slid into my belly..


I feared for her and to be honest, for me.  
All the talking, writing, typing here, translates into faith building exercises for me.
This morning I type cautiously. 






Do I believe in the absolute sovereignty of God? 
Yes.
Do I believe He knows every cell in my body?
Yes.
Do I believe He can eradicate cancer?
Yes.
Does He always?
No.




Some turn to food to be their answer--holistic this, organic that, veggie juices, supplements, alkaline diets and nary a speck of sugar ever again in their mouths because that feeds cancer cells.


I can think of three souls right now, who still died.  After all that.


Again, nothing wrong with choosing to eat that way, especially after you've been diagnosed.
It may help.  
But may I gently ask you, do you believe God is sovereign over all? Over you?  Over your body? Over your soul?




The most harm done to me after my diagnosis was people telling me to eat this or that.
If I did they claimed, I'd be healed.  The flip side of that ugly coin is this: eating their way would have prevented my cancer. 
May I gently say again?
Do you believe in the absolute sovereignty of God?
Over you?
Over your body?
Over your soul?




This woman I know who just found out cancer is gnawing away in her body AGAIN,
takes care of herself. She walks diligently. Eats well.  Loves God. Her husband.
So did she do "something wrong?"  Did she eat the wrong stuff? Was it not organic enough?
Alkaline enough?  


You see what I mean?  It's enough to drive you batty with grief!


I am eating better than I ever have in my life!
I am exercising 5-6 days a week.
I am striving to be in God's Word every single day.
I love my husband. 
Adore my children.
I serve in my church.
I home school my children.


Will this keep cancer away?
I hope so.
Am I placing my entire well being in what I am doing?
No way.


I am placing all I am in God's hands.
His nail scarred, cross corroded hands.
His hands.


Dear reader, whether you are facing cancer again, or you've never had it, or your life is in a blender of despair,
do not let your mind believe that you are just waiting "for the other shoe to drop."
Like God holds a giant shoe in heaven waiting to squash you like a bug.


No.


He loves you dear one..
Run to Him today..


He is faithful,
Bonnie

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