proof of my faith

"In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold,which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.."

Peter isn't saying here that we should rejoice in our trials (although James does). He is referring back to God's mercy causing him to be born again--to a living hope because Jesus rose from the dead..he is saying because of that you can make it through this. I used to think when I read this that Peter was some type of crazy, you know, the kind smile their way through anything, but earlier this week I focused on the previous verses (3-4) and all of a sudden it clicked..

I love it when God does that!

He actually acknowledges that trials are distressing(vs6) . He also uses the word various which I learned comes from the Greek word where we get polka dots--poikilos--means varigated, so everyone's trials are not the same, but they are trials nonetheless. You may not have cancer, but you may be hurting deeply inside.

Why then? So the "proof of my faith (which is more precious than gold) even though I am being tested by fire, may be found to result in the praise and glory and honor...

Another word for proof is genuineness of my faith. Oh man, do I want others to see Jesus in me through this cancer stuff..I want it more than I want chemo. I want it more than I want that red blood cell booster shot that makes my bones ache like crazy..it doesn't make it any easier but knowing this gives me a purpose and hope.

Sorry about the little lesson here, but I'm not sorry really...we all need to be genuine about our faith when we are going through tough, nail biting times. This is hard on my husband. We have prayed more together in the last 3months than we have the entire time we've been married. We are continually going to the throne of grace because we cannot do this on our own. We cannot be strong without Him breathing His strength into us. We are like frightened children so many nights and we just lay there and cry out to Him...I don't think it makes Tim a weakling but I think it endears me to him even more, to know he needs God for help in his life too. To hear your beloved ask God for help and hope and strength is one of those "for better or worse" moments.. Cancer is tough on kids, and to hear my kids pray during this is hard, but it is comforting because they are turning to God too, each of them in their own way. Rachel wrote this short little poem about Jesus holding her hand, and she mentions through the storm and even when she dies, Jesus is there, holding her hand. At first it seemed a little dark, but she was expressing what was deep in her heart.

I am rambling and need to go to bed.

Please lift us up to the throne of grace tomorrow..

Jack the puppy ate part of the new mop today...
We had friends over for dinner and it was a lot of fun.
Everything here is very, very dry.