Anger

I got real angry yesterday. I had been anticipating going to the homeschool ski day with Tim and Teresa and Rachel. Hannah was sick at home....(another story)
It was SO BEAUTIFUL here--bluer than blue sky, warmer than normal temperatures and then it happened...
The wood boiler's blower went ka put. Broken. If it doesn't work, we do not have heat or hot water. If the line underground gets cold, that's very, very bad.

I have a husband who is incredibly blessed to be able to fix things like blower motors. I would use a ball bat. He had made several phone calls, with no leads. I kept getting ready to go with the girls but I could tell he wasn't going to be able to make it with us.
That meant to me, I would be skiing ALONE, with my girls, especially on the very scary chair lift. Not scary to them, but to me. Anyone remember last year's ski day pics?
I was just getting my hair back and downhill skied for the first time in my life and had a blast. I screeched like a giant chicken on the chair lift!! I was with my sweetheart though, we held hands, we even got in a kiss or two up on top of the big hill...
BUT
This morning, I am going for the second time and my sweetheart is now in "gotta get it fixed right now" mode.

I won't go into detail with all the slamming and banging around I did, but I heard myself say some pretty stupid things, out loud. I had Teresa pretty upset...

On the way there, I begin to pray...I pray out loud, so my girls can hear me. I ask forgiveness for my anger. I apologize to my dear, sweet daughters...I tell them the "anger of man does not achieve the righteous life that God desires." I tell them that when I "confess my sins He is faithful and just to forgive me my sin and cleanse me from all unrighteousness."
I felt better...still sad Tim wasn't with us, but better. I went on the chair lift, 6 times with my girls!!! I felt brave and had a good time. God gave us an incredibly gorgeous day. It hit 59!!

The book of James says we are to be "quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger..."
Quick, slow, slow. Oh Jesus, please help me to remember this and put it into action before I start slamming cupboard doors...

Sickie ickies........it's that time of year!!
Hannah and I got to spend much time together in the emergency department Saturday night and Sunday night. She was fighting off an infection. She had lower back pain and a fever. 3 hours later, we had an antibiotic in her and got to go home. Sunday night we went back, because the pain had moved up towards her kidneys and the Dr said to get back in there if it did that...
Her youth pastor and some friends showed up while she was in the waiting room and brought her some beautiful flowers...they all surrounded her and prayed for her--such joy to witness God's people loving on my girl! What a blessing to see young people minister God's love.

This morning, I took her to her Dr. She had a fever, horrible rattly cough and bad, bad headache..
They did the nose swab thing and told us it was influenza. Poor Hannah...
She has missed 3 days of her algebra class, babysitting for her favorite family and possibly a weekend youth group event. She feels lousy...
Please pray for her healing..
Nathan had a sore throat this am. He goes into work, sees the Dr there and gets sent home because he has strep AGAIN!!!! Poor Nathan. Now he is on a stronger antibiotic.

When they were babies I could rock them. I did rock them. I spent hours in that creaky chair, with a wash cloth, praying over them, feeling their tiny bodies shake with chills...oh how they would cry!
Now when they are sick, the two big kids go to bed. They sleep and sleep and sleep some more. I have to wake them to take their meds and drink more fluids. I repeat all the choices of food we have available in the fridge..hopefully one of them mentioned will receive a response..

While Hannah was sleeping this afternoon, Teresa and Rachel and I cleaned out the fridg. WOW was it nasty!!!! We put on praise music and cleaned away.. I made brown rice with black beans and sausage for dinner...yum..
My two younger girls are such gems to my heart. I love working beside them. They chatter away, making me smile..they sing to the songs, they slop water all over...they bless me so..They went to friend's house today and got to help feed 3 week old piglets. They are my animal loving girls!!

After dinner, Teresa began to cry..her tummy hurts. She is afraid she is getting sick. Since I have had breast cancer, anytime she gets an ache or a pain, she really (I think) overreacts. I fight the anger...I am angry this is happening to my daughter..I felt guilt. Sounds dumb I know.
I can hear the edge to my voice and then I realize---be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger....thank you Holy Spirit...

I snuggle her and reassure her that I will take care of her...she stops sobbing and snuggles into me...
Tucking her in, I felt her forehead.
Fever..

It's going to be a long night...


Pray I listen to that still, small voice..

He is faithful,
Bonnie