Thursday, February 12, 2009

My brother

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1

I love this verse. Abundantly available for help is how present helps translates. It tells me this in my Bible, in the microscopic letters I now read with bifocals.

This morning when I heard from Mom the results of my brother's PET scan, these words came into my mind. Tears came too, lots of them. I kind of feel apart for a while.
The PET scan revealed significant uptake on his carotid artery--at this point, it's either more squamous cell carcinoma or it's scar tissue from radiation. Most likely, it's cancer. He is being referred to a specialist in Ann Arbor, who is supposedly world renown for cancers in the neck. He also has a standing appointment at Mayo Clinic. Right now, I think the plan is to go to U of M and hear what this Dr has to say.
Can you remove the part of the carotid that has the cancer on it?
I do not know.
Where's the primary source of the cancer in my brother's body?
They do not know.
Will he have to have chemo again?
Maybe.

I went shopping again this afternoon, just to get out of the sickie ickie house. Hannah is a teensy bit better, Nathan's tonsils have white pustules on them and he feels awful...(yes, he is on an antibiotic) Teresa still has a tummy ache, but it isn't manifesting into the barf bucket yet. She eats ok. Rachel's wrist really hurts. Tim still hacks and coughs a lot. Thankfully, the dogs are ok.
Anyhow, I had a hard time. I couldn't remember why I was there. I am so glad I had a list.
I fumbled with my gloves, my keys and my billfold in my coat. I felt so displaced...

I did speak to Steve tonight. He sounded good. Positive. He told the Dr that "he and the Lord were going to beat this together." The Dr said that sounded like a good plan. I remember when he was first diagnosed last January, he was told he would have a "100% recovery."
Please forgive me, for any Dr person out there reading this, but WHY would you tell a patient that?

Please pray for wisdom for Steve and Amy. Pray for strength, physically and emotionally. Pray God will provide. He has a good job, the people have been incredibly supportive.
Pray most of all that they will draw near to Him--He tells us in His Word that when we do that, He draws near to us.

I need to go to bed. I am literally exhausted...

He is faithful,
Bonnie

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