Saturday, June 20, 2009

Oh Jesus hold me together..

I remember in Florida, waiting for a big wave to come in, so the kids and I could body surf it to the shore..grief is like that. Big waves, rolling in, breaking over my heart and soul. I am comforted when I cuddle up to my husband, thankful for his presence..I hurt when I instantly realize my sister in law will have an empty space in her bed. I hurt when I think of my brother's body, in a coffin, ravaged by the disease called cancer --and my body though it bears scars from that same dreaded disease, is relatively strong and well.
Do you all realize this could be me? Do you have any idea how that makes my heart burn?
I don't expect you too, honest.
Oh Jesus, hold me together...
The body of Christ is alive and well here in Northern Michigan. We have had meals brought to us already and it soothes our battered senses, knowing someone cares that much. I have no idea how many people are praying at the is mind blowing to think upon.
I cannot wait to be in church tomorrow. It is like a hospital when you are injured; you need to go to receive the medicine and Dr care to get better..

I heard a song that has been rolling around in my head since I learned this awful news..
"I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin. If you are familiar with it, when he gets to the part where he sings,
"And the voices of many angels sing, worthy is the Lamb,
I hear the voices of many angels sing, worthy is the Lamb..."

I ended up on the floor, weeping, with my hands open to Heaven.
Oh Jesus, hold me together.

Mom and I head downstate tomorrow. Tim and the children will come Monday. The funeral is Tuesday. Amy, his wife, said it is going to be a celebration of Steve's life. Thank You Lord..even in her worst, most tragic moment, she is looking to You.
Oh Jesus, hold her together..

Here is the link to his obituary...I cannot believe I even typed that word...

God You are faithful, You are Good and You love us,
Bonnie, Steve's big sister.

1 comment:

Kristine said...

Many, many prayers are going up for you and the whole family!! I cannot imagine the grief in your heart. I pray that our amazing Heavenly Father will wrap you up in His strong arms of love and show you clearly this love today and tomorrow especially while you swim through these emotions. You are loved!