45 laps....

I still don't know who did this bag for me. Those are my tired dogs after 45 laps!
My precious daughters made this luminaria bag for my brother Steve. Isn't it great??
45. One for every year of Steve's life. Humbling and rewarding all mixed into one. I wish he could've seen me...maybe he did?? I don't know, but I know for sure, God did.
The gal to the left, the head honcho of the relay. What a sweetheart she was to me!
Some more walkers with me right before I hit the 45th lap.
All 4 of us have had cancer either in us or in a loved one near us...
Almost finished!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Precious J next to me, on the right. She is very brave. She walked with me, her and her mom, more than anyone did. What an awesome encouragement she is to my heart!!

I felt so blessed by all those who showed up and simply walked with me. Many of you have done it from the beginning of my journey with breast cancer, but the relay just provides a tangible, on site, on purpose rememberance. It is a very powerful time. Thank you for being brave enough to show up, walk and stay by my side.

For all you who supported me financially, I raised somewhere between 800-$900. Very, very close to my goal. Thank you so very much for helping me..

Being at a relay is akin being in a cemetery. You see IN MEMORY OF on the luminaria bags.. People wear t shirts with their loved ones faces on them, declaring they will "never forget you." It is sad. It is frightening and I had a few encounters with fear, but kept kicking it in the teeth. You can't help but wonder if the other survivors are thinking the same thing.

If you are survivor and wearing your purple t shirt, walking is a courageous act, like making a declaration of "I'M STILL HERE AND I'M LIVING TODAY JUST FINE!!!" There were 44 survivors walking. I felt so proud to walk with my friends. I felt so encouraged to have them next to me.

I was given an opportunity to speak at the survivor dinner. After speaking to 500 people at my brother's funeral, this was not scary at all. I wasn't coming in though with any words on paper, I prayed like crazy for Divine Help and God did not disappoint me.

I told them why I walked. For my brother. For myself. Then I told them what has helped me the most...

Taking one day at a time. Really. Jesus said that. He said "tomorrow has enough trouble of it's own."

Receive each day as a gift. Live it. Be grateful. It was short and sweet.

My husband was there...he was beaming...

After it was over, one gal came up to me and told me she "really, really needed to hear that." She was in tears. Thank You God. Thank You....

It's not easy being the big sister. I wept so hard after I finished those 45 laps..the tip of the cyclone fence bit into my flat chest as I clung to Tim's neck...I felt him gulp. You know, that hard swallow that tells you they are trying not to cry too...

I miss my brother so much.

I was in church the next morning and we were singing some praise song. I don't even remember what it was. I was INSTANTLY hit with this thought: I am singing here on earth to God and my brother is worshipping that same God--in His presence.

Oh Jesus, tell him I love him will You??

You are faithful,

Bonnie

P.S. One lap is 1/4 of a mile. You figure out the rest! ( I actually walked 48!)