Sunday, September 12, 2010

Me, me, me

Life is not all about me!! Life is not about what I can buy, wear, eat, live in or drive. Life is given to me by God, to bring glory to Him.

Only three things will last forever: God, God's Word and people.

We have these dear, sweet friends who we walk the bridge with every year. Despite the rain that morning, we had a great time. But let me tell ya, I did not want to walk in the rain! I was grouchy, grumpy and down right not fun to be around. Why? Me-itis. I wanted it to be nice. I wanted to have more sleep(so did everyone else). Blah, blah and blah. After I got over to the U.P. side, I told myself, while I sat on a garbage bag to keep my dupa from getting soaked..."Bonnie, you can either have a great time or make everyone else miserable. Make a choice girl!" I really, truly did in my sleep deprived mind. I chose to ditch the grumpy me and go for the grateful me. What a transformation!

By the time we got towards the end, the rain had stopped and the sun was shining!! I saw such beauty around me. I even had a praise song in my head! Amazing! All this on only 5 hours of sleep!!

Later that afternoon, our friends were they inched down the driveway they stopped. Did they forgot something?!?! Nope. Their doors burst open and they ran around their 1970's vintage motor home, not once but TWICE, giggling the entire time!! I still smile when I remember!!

I realize I was only operating on 3 cylinders due to lack of sleep. Not a big deal in the overall schematic of life.

Other days, choosing to be grateful is more difficult. Like the days where I was vomiting uncontrollably due to chemo and had to be driven to ER ...I hated leaving my family behind...Like the night when my brother was diagnosed with stage IV cancer... Or the morning I felt the tumor behind his ear after the cancer came back.....or the horrible moment I heard my mom sobbing the morning he died..

All of these moments did not give me holy abscence slips from being grateful, from directing my focus towards Christ. They do not give me permission to beat others up with my words or my actions. I mess up all the time. I am not perfect. Grief has been very, very real lately and I have found my mouth saying all types of hurt filled words. God forgives--He takes me where I am and cleanses me and is faithful to do so over and over again..Look at the life of Jesus Christ. When he was being wounded verbally or physically,what was His response? He loved. Even on the cross, dying a excruciating death, that He did not deserve, He offered forgiveness! Oh the love He has for me!!! The love He has for YOU!!

This is what God has been teaching me lately. My words and actions must not be hurled at another because of my circumstances. (sorry honey--you get the brunt of it) Though I possess human antics, I must choose to be forgiving and kind---because God tells me to in His Word. Look at Ephesians 4:22.

"Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you."

And one more, "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." I Thessalonians 5:16-18

Life really is not all about me. It is about choosing to obey God's Word no matter what happens in my me Lord Jesus to want more of You in my life and less of me.

He is faithful,


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