Tuesday, April 22, 2008

His love endures forever

16 years. That is how many times we as a family have celebrated the Passover. I have memories of sitting at the table at our church downstate, with Hannah in a high chair, eating cheerios and me trying desperately to keep her happy until the meal. I remember when Nathan read the 4 questions for the first time..Until we moved up here in 1997, we had the privilege of being taught by one of our church Elders. His passion for God's Word and the Passover and Jesus Christ ignited a flame in my heart and Tim's. He has faithfully led our family in this celebration since 1997. I am so proud of him!
You can see Teresa, reading the 4 questions in her Haggadah. I wanted to cry! You can see the elements on the table, the parsley representing new life( ours in Christ), the horseradish representing the bitterness of the people in bondage to Pharoah and our bondage in sin..and you can see the reddish stuff,the kharoset, representing the mortar the people labored in for hundreds of years. Celebrating the Passover is a deliberate act to REMEMBER all God has done for us! Jesus was woven into the fabric of the Old Testament and finally in the New Testament, the final sacrifice of the Passover Lamb was accomplished.
I find myself wanting to defend Passover but I have learned one thing over the last few years,
let God do the defending. He is so much more capable than I.

We had fewer people this year just because of me and needing to go simple. Dear friends of ours grew the lambs and a few weekends ago, Tim and his friend, did the dirty deed to prepare them for our meal...Thanks friends. You guys are awesome!! It tasted wonderful.

Of course throughout the whole meal, I kept remembering all the pain and heartache Jesus has brought us through, just in the last year...
We got to the part of the meal where we repeat, His love endures forever. 16 years ago, when we first started doing this, I remember thinking, "Ok, I'm alright with the first three times, but come on, that's enough already! I get it!" My proud heart had no idea how little I did get...Fast forward 16 years, 4 children, 23 1/2 years of marriage, breast cancer last year, and I couldn't have said His love endures forever, enough!!
When I got ready for bed, I realized through the Holy Spirit, that no matter what, His love will last forever. If I go home to be with Jesus next year or in 25-30 years, His love will endure. His love is greater for my children, than mine. His love is more powerful than mine and is able to keep my children no matter what. When your life has been threatened, knowing that God is able to do what you as a Mom, might not get to, this revelation brought GREAT comfort and peace. I am here. I am alive. I am cancer free. But who said I would die from cancer? One cannot assume. Don't read me wrong here, I am not planning on dying soon and I am incredibly grateful for what God has done. I know in the very core of who I am, that no matter what, God will prevail. His love, truly endures forever!!

Totally different subject. My knees are killing me. The Armidex has side effects of joint pain..I cannot straighten out my left knee, especially after I have been sitting. It is arthritic type pain that only worsens through out the day. I have lost a lot of range of motion too..I find myself wondering how I can make it on this drug for the next 2-5 years?? I see the Dr tomorrow. I know it is the meds because when I was on the prednisone for the MRI, it felt great. When I forgot to take Arimdex to our little get away at the Crooked River Lodge, it felt much better. I have been walking every single day and am not willing to give it up, because that is my battling time for God's kingdom and my time where I expect to hear from Him. And it makes me feel better--except for my knee.
How can one, little, white pill wreak so much havoc??
It is supposed to inhibit the production of aromatase, an enzyme used to produce estrogen. The cancer was estrogen positive. What it is really inhibiting is ME!!

I would appreciate your prayers. Yes, it is better than chemo and radiation. Yes, it is only temporary. Pain has a way of making one become illogical.

Praises: I can still walk 3 miles!
The Passover was a huge blessing!
There is a happy baby in my house today!
My radiation oncologist reduced my bill by over 60%!!
Hannah is driving and doing a great job!
Nathan was able to be home for Passover!

His love endures forever!

He is faithful,

1 comment:

Sarah said...

And ever, and ever, and ever, Amen!
What a wonderful lesson you have given us. It's been a long time since I shared a passover meal. Thank you. I just gave your blog info to a knitting friend. Hope she reads this.

So ---- what did you do with all the furnature? What a lovely long table you had.

May God give you and your doctor wisdom. We will, of course, pray.
Is. 26:3 is one of my favorite verses.

Love and Blessings to all, Mom ;-)