Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Bugs and Fish

This past weekend was so amazing!! Saturday, I drove to a place on the North Branch of the Au Sable, to be with my Reeling and Healing fisher folk. I hit the road early, got there and began fishing by 10am. We were at someone's personal residence and oh my....the river was directly in back and all we had to do was walk down some steps and we were on the banks. Wading was tricky because of muck, but I managed. I caught--no--landed 5 brook trout!!!!!!!! FISH ON!!!
They were only 5 inches long but it doesn't matter. I loved being in the water, feeling the current on my legs, watching the fly line straighten out, hearing from my guide, who is like, a million times more experienced than me, "good cast"---all those things and more, made it difficult to leave.
I feel like a queen when I am in the midst of these people. They spoil you rotten with great food, smiles and they even spit on your line--guess it makes the knot hold better. They encourage you, help you tie on flies and never, ever have they made me feel like a dope. They love to help you learn. Every time I am with them I learn more about fishing . I learn once again, that cancer cannot run my life. These women are brave, courageous and a riot to be with!
I almost forget about cancer. Almost...

At dinner, you can hear the words chemo, radiation, fishing, flies, waders, treatment, rocks, biopsies,bone loss, bone fish and scar tissue. You know people understand. You look at scrap books and see ladies who have "passed." That makes my heart ache. I wonder, "Could they be looking at my face in 5 years?" I bet lots of ladies think that, but no one says it.

I had to get home. I told the leader gal I needed to leave...she asked me to stay for the gift exchange. I now have living on my buffet, a water color of whimsical Kirtland Warblers, painted by one of the guides wives. IT IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!! I still cannot believe I have it. What a gift!!!

The only downer of the day, was that I forgot a camera!! I made certain to download those moments though. I can visualize the brookie in the guides hand just before he released it. Those dumb little fish are so pretty!! I would say, let it go, but it is proper to say "released." I would also say, "caught" but I learned it is proper to say, "landed." That brings to mind aviation terminology..Oh and I "landed" a brookie and got it off the hook all by myself! I should have planted a big ole kiss on it's fishy nose!

Sunday morning, Mother's Day, brought breakfast for Mom. I had a beautiful, smallish package to unwrap. In it, a little car. A volkswagon beetle. Black. Cute family--"You always wanted one right Mom?" Right. Very funny. Ha ha.
"Do you want to see your "real" gift? " Teresa says.
Out to the garage I go.
It is closed.
I close my eyes.
I hear the door go up and there is a REAL VOLKSWAGON BEETLE!!!! Black, 1968, cuteness on wheels.
My dream car!!!

A bird painting, flyfishing and my dream car in the same 24 hours. WOW!!!

I cried.

Some moments are seared forever in your heart. Like when you see your baby for the first time. Or when you see the look in your spouse's eyes as you stand before God and friends, saying your vows of marriage. The look on my family's face as they presented me with that 41 year old car, was one of those moments. Tonight was as well.
I took my Mom, Teresa and Rachel all for a ride tonight. I crunched the gears a few times, but we laughed and bounced our way around the block!
You should have seen them in that little car!

All of this is tempered by my brother and his fight. He is starting another batch of treatments today. They discovered another lump, near his previous tumor he had cryosurgery on a couple months ago. It is small, but has gained size in the last couple weeks. He has already had 4 weeks of chemo...

Please pray for Steve and Amy and their sons. Pray for provision because Steve is on limited disability now. Pray for peace because fear and anxiety wants to lurk in their hearts. (mine too) Pray they will be surrounded by friends and family that can help in any way possible.
Pray for healing!!

When I was in the midst of my treatment, I listened to God Will Make a Way, over and over again. It was a musical, worship deal our church did. Kind of like a play, to music. The theme: God will make a way...that song was born out of an accident that claimed the life of an 8 year old boy..
I went down by the bay this morning to pray, walk and absorb that entire cd as I thought of and prayed for, my brother and his family.
Powerful. Painful. Praise. Thank You Lord that You will not look down upon a broken and contrite heart...

He is faithful,


Kristine said...

Wow, what a roller coaster of emotions wrapped into each sentence! It gets confusing sometimes to look at the backside of the tapestries being woven in our lives and the lives of others around us. But our amazing Father is delicately weaving our lives into beautiful testimonies of His grace. Thank you for not being afraid to let us see these pieces of your life and how your heart continues to point others to the Savior!
Love and Prayers,

Kristine said...

Saw a VW bug at a car show today and smiled as I thought of you driving around in yours! :)