You know how you feel glad and sad simultaneously? My heart has had a heavy dose of that feeling all week.
Dose #1
My brother is not faring well. Chemo the second time around is doing a number on him. He is weak, has lost some weight and feels rotten. I miss him. He won't be at Hannah's graduation party and that makes me sad...I understand totally..it is sad though. As the days blast by and I am preparing for Hannah's celebration, my heart aches for him and for his family.
Dose#2
Last Friday, I visited my son in his new home. Yep. He has moved on. I can hear some of you already-"That's what they're supposed to do Mom!" Right. It still causes heartache. I miss him. His new place is in Harbor Springs MI, about 17.5 miles from here and he is renting it with a couple friends. The first night he was gone, when I'd close my eyes, I'd see a little boy. I'd see him riding his bike or making lego creations. He grew up so fast! Oh God, allow him to look to You for wisdom. Make him a man after your own heart. As a deer pants after water, have his heart yearn for You...
Dose #3
The most intense. All week long I have been looking at pictures. Dozens of them. I have been preparing a book for Hannah, my gift to her..this was HUGE. I had to sort through 16 years of pictures, get them organized and then pick out the ones I wanted. Lots of memories. Precious baby faces, pictures of me with a child nursing choked up my throat, seeing my husband younger and so handsome(he still is) it was a huge wow...did I really do all that? Change all those diapers? Thank You Lord I "made it" this far.. You are worthy of praise..
As my babies fly from the nest help me to trust You. Help me to cling to You when I feel sad. Turning to chocolate covered almonds doesn't help. Really.
I love You Lord. Thank You for being with us as we have nurtured and grown our babies.
Keep praying for my brother and his family please.
He is faithful,
Bonnie
1 comment:
Oh dear one, so much for your heart to hold . . . and to let go of at the same time. I have the same mama heartache as I cope with my baby girl being married and living three hours away. It's so hard. It's a huge "whew" I did it . . . raised a responsible, Jesus loving adult, but darn, it's hard.
I am so sorry that Steve is hurting so badly. I don't know how you do it, yet I know that you don't have a choice, and I know that the Lord is your very present help. Please know that I am praying for him, and for Amy and the boys, and for all of you, including your mom.
What a sweet gift for Hannah, and congratulations on her graduation! We just did the "picture sort" here as well (for the wedding). It certainly brings many memories front and center, doesn't it?
Praying for you as you let your birds fly . . . as we let our birds fly. Thank you Father that we can trust You to help them to soar! Thank you for the privilege of being moms.
Love you friend,
Tina
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