Ever had a raw spot on your skin? You know the kind that if anything, even your sheets in your bed, brushes across it, it KILLS?
That's how my heart feels today.
I am on day 5 of Aromasin. Already people in my immediate family can tell "the difference."
I am moody, fly off the handle at the slightest infraction and sleep is as elusive as the big buck on opening day...
Once more, I am faced with a decision. Despite how I FEEL, how I HURT, how I want to SCREAM at my family, I must make a choice...
From Beth Moore's book, Praying God's Word, pg. 206
"My God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him. (Ps. 115:3) Lord, sometimes my only answer will be that You are sovereign. Your Word says that the death of Your saints is absolutely precious to You. (Ps. 116:15) One day I will have all the answers. Until then, I must trust that You have power and dominion over all things and that You know best. Help me to believe this even when I don't feel this.
The choice for me right now is to believe. I hate to even put this down for fear someone, somewhere, will think I am being trite, simplistic or trying to make a point. I am not.
I am trying to tell you how much it hurts right now and how I struggle to believe the truth despite my feelings that threaten to sink my heart to the utter depths of the earth.
I realize too that God has been to those depths, He made them!
Believing does not make the sorrow sweeter. Believing makes me more aware of the One Who carries me through the sorrow....Does that make any sense??
I have more to share but this is not the place. I think what I have to say is only going to be seen in my journal before a Holy God.
This home could sure use some prayers for peace and comfort.
You are a faithful God,