Monday, September 14, 2009


I love how the Lord brings gems into my life. I do not even remember where I was headed, but I always have on the Christian radio in my suburban. One day, I was half listening to a talky type program and kept hearing the words loss, accident, and grief. I downloaded it onto my ipod and listened intently on my next walk.

This guy had a drunk driver hit his minivan head on, doing 85 mph. The drunk driver survived. The drunk driver's wife, 9 months pregnant, died and so did the baby..If that isn't tragic enough, the author's wife of 22 years, his mom who was visiting and his 4 year old daughter, were also killed. He is left with 3 children to parent alone.

The drunk driver got off on a technicality.

This author, his name is Jerry Sittser, wrote a book called how the soul grows through loss A Grace Disguised. I didn't forget to hit the caps either, he has the first few words in lower case.

I have read lots of books since my diagnosis. Only a handful have truly "helped" me. This book is the BEST book I have ever read regarding loss, grief, and pain.

A little excerpt which I pray is alright,
Jerry is speaking of a couple who are raising a severely disabled child~~
" A and M will never "recover" from their loss. Nor can they. Can anyone really expect to recover from such tragedy, considering the value of what was lost and the consequences of that loss?
Recovery is a misleading and empty expectation. We recover from broken limbs, not amputation. Catastrophic loss by definition precludes recovery. It will transform us or destroy us, but it will never leave us the same. Sorrow never entirely leaves the soul of those who have suffered a severe loss. " Pg 73

Jerry Sittser. how the soul grows through loss, A Grace Disguised. Zondervan, 1995 and then an expanded edition in 2004.
Thank You Lord, for leading me to this book. Thank you Mom, for getting it for me..

Less heavy stuff:

I am getting fluffier. I do not like it. I can feel it. I mean, pinch it!
Aromasin is to blame, I'm certain!!
I hate it, I really do. Am I doing the right thing God??
How can meds that make you fatter be good for you??
Should I retitle this More Heavy Stuff???

Tim leaves for Ashokan this Thursday. He will be gone until Monday. He drives, 14 hours, one way. Please pray for his safety..

Teresa turns 10 the 23rd. How fast time flies!!!

Rachel loves riding her horse, Oliver. She brought him over to me while I was sitting in my swing and we both laughed at the sound of his hooves on the cement driveway. He's a good boy. He lets that mare Heidi, push him around too much though.

I'm on verse 4 of Psalm 34...I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears...
How many fears?? My very first pastor, Howard Sugden from South Baptist in Lansing, used to say and I can STILL hear him say this, whenever he would reference the word all in Scripture,
"AAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! " This took several seconds for him to get it all out of his lungs...
He was right though.

Time for bed..

He is faithful,

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