Tuesday, June 22, 2010
My Bible defines hope as: the expectation of future good; comfort, expectation, confidence, or trust.. Hmmm.
Obviously there are different kinds of hope, and hope is described differently, like from I Peter 1:3 which says," Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.."
My hope is from Him, Psalm 62:5 boasts.
Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
The pic above is from our HOPE garden. We, Mom and I, wanted to create a peaceful, prayerful, beautiful place to be in, after Steve's arrival in Heaven. We chose the name HOPE because it fits well--it is a place of comfort, because we seek God's help as we grieve.
It is a place of expectation, because we believe we will see Steve again in Heaven.
It is a place of confidence and trust because we put our confidence and trust in God and in Him alone.
Does this mean every time I go into it, I feel good? No. It means it is a visual reminder of who and what I am placing my hope in, and that I believe God's promises. He is my hope.
One night, last week, I was sitting here at the computer, trying to come up with a blog post...I could not...I felt frustrated. I wanted to write something meaningful, something powerful, something that would speak to the hearts of those who read..
The anniversary of my brother's death was looming..I really felt at a loss. "Who cares anyway?", I thought. I was judging care by number of comments, alas, a common trap we bloggers fall into--the more comments, the more people "care" about what you just said.
Then I noticed it. The sun was setting and a single shaft of sunlight was piercing through the trees, across the HOPE garden, highlighting the HOPE doodad and landing on my keyboard..It was absolutely beautiful!! Some days I jokingly ask God for a billboard, especially if I am in the midst of trouble and need a fix/solution. Here it was, spelled out for me, on the night before my brother entered Heaven, one year ago,..a billboard of sorts, in my own back yard..
In my frustration, He met me. He spoke tenderly to His daughter. In my grief, He gave me hope. I know I will see my brother again, but I feel like I am living tediously in a balance of knowing he is in Heaven vs. missing him here on earth.
I am. But I am not alone. Someone BIGGER and GREATER than my grief is right here, shining light into my dark places..
He is my very, present help.
I love you Lord,