Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Not goodbye

Believers in Jesus Christ are promised eternity in
Heaven. My life on this blue sphere is a blip compared to forever.
I believe this with all of me. Every fiber and cell of me.
Jesus Christ defeated the sting of death by dying for my sins and yours I might add--
by believing in Him, I am given new life and it lasts forever.
So what?
Well, because of what I believe---

I do not fear death. It is a doorway to walk through to be with God. To see my brother. To behold my Savior Jesus. Having had cancer makes me acutely aware of this. Once I've heard "it's cancer " I live in this tension----some days my heart gets stretched taut heavenwards, other days, I simply want to live like this: cancer is a word that must apply to someone else.
A few hours ago, my heart got stretched to breaking.
She has been struggling for months, my girlfriend. Breast cancer has engulfed too many cells.

I wanted to see her, to pray with her, to tell her I loved her and that I would see her "soon."
In light of eternity that is..

I told her God's Word says "a friend loves at all times." Even hard, lump in your throat moments.
I spoke all of Psalm 91 to her. I swallowed my lump..(b/c I remembered when I spoke the same words over my brother..)

I sang to her
Be still and know,
that I am God,
be still and know,
that I am God,
be still and know

Then I told her I wasn't going to tell her goodbye, but "see you in Heaven."

I think that those seconds aren't so much for the person who is dying,
but for the one living.
I can still remember her laugh, her face, her smile--seeing her ill
does not diminish my girlfriend.
It hurts my soul,
it makes me ache deep inside to see a person I care for, suffering,
but I cling to a thin thread of hope.

Hope brings feet into too quiet homes, onto carpet in bedrooms and kneels beside a girlfriend's bed.

Hope does not shy away to look at the face of one she loves..
Hope speaks.
Hope prays for family and weeps in the car alone...

Hope longs for Heaven..

"But when this perishable will have put on the imperishable, and this moral will have put on immortality, then will come about the saying, "DEATH IS SWALLOWED UP in victory.
The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law,
but thanks be to God,
who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.."
I Corinthians 15:54-57


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