Sunday, December 18, 2011


Scripture states that "Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart." Luke2:19

Treasured here has the idea of gathering up your treasures and clutching them to your chest--not begrudgingly but tenderly, with wonderment.

Teresa played for her Christmas program Saturday night..
she looked absolutely stunning to me.. this beauty of mine, bowed and sat down and from her fingertips and heart-- the crowd heard What Child is This...
My child.
The one who stayed in the womb almost 2 weeks late.
The one who just had to touch my neck while she nursed.
Love poured out in days, months, heavens, years...
stealthy those years crept--
when I listened I saw a baby in my arms, felt a child on my lap and heard a young lady, playing SO well..

and I understood lately I've been pondering the ugly things.
Harboring harsh words written almost 2 years ago.
Run over--my heart crushed by a girl friend's death--and others with cancer returning.
Me, the blogger lady, letting death sting me, when Jesus took that stinger and ground it down to a nub.

I have life before me.
Lived out day after day.
I must live here.
The past with busted up relationships--I've given permission to taint my present.
I have forgiven honestly Lord.
And I trust Your timing.
I believe one day YOU will restore. YOU will heal. YOU will do so in YOUR time and
YOUR ways. I do so earnestly pray for this..and You know it well. You O God, know my heart and in this I must rest.

Truth treasures come softly tonight.
You come like a snowflake Lord, light and beautiful. Stunning.
I will ponder this.
I will gather up my daughter playing so well, and cherish her NOW.
I will remember the sunset glorious tonight.
I will continue to live here and be in this moment.
I will give my past pains and aches to You--the ones You've allowed for reasons I do not understand..

I will not allow them to choke the life out of me any longer.

Help me Lord to live in balance.
Loving those who have given up on loving me--
loving my family who is here, now, needing me,
being grateful in all circumstances, trials and heartaches--

these things.

O Come let us adore Him-
O Come let us adore Him-
O come let us adore Him-
Christ the Lord.

You are faithful,

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