Sunday, March 18, 2012

Who am I doing this for again?

Honestly, fbook is creeping into my thinking on this blog.  I am being conditioned to all the "likes" and comments quite easily.  It must be the instant-ness of it all.  Tonight, I posted a couple pics and had a reaction in less than 2 minutes. Crazy isn't it?
Here, not so.  I write to those I know.  Those who have known me.  Mostly I write to God.  For God.

Been reading two books. One is Made to Crave by Lysa TerKheurst.
                                        Other is Intimate Issues by Linda Dillow and Lorriane Pintus

I am discovering that my hang up with eating too much is not really about food.  It's more about me, not going to God for what I thought food could provide.  I have resolved not to eat sugar and WOW, is it tough!! I did eat a piece of poppyseed cake for Hannah's bday.  The victory for me however, was not eating the batter by the spoonful while I made it, or the custard or the frosting.  Not. One. Bite.
I also had some for Tim's birthday...but you know, I am not craving sweets like I used to.  I mean, I ate them every single day!  I've lost a couple pounds but gained so much more in my daily relationship with Jesus Christ.  This journey will last the rest of my life.
If you struggle with overeating, this book is honest, funny and refreshing.  I am only giving up sweets because I need to relearn self-control.  I am willing to have a season without them.  And I am surviving just fine!! Yogurt is pretty yummy--fruit too.

The second book is by far, the BEST ever on intimacy within marriage.  These ladies are candid and brave.  They tackle tough questions.  Each chapter is named after a question posed to them--How Do I Make Love With Children Wrapped Around My Knees? --- is one.  Wished I'd read it 10 years ago...
For me, the chapter, How Do I Shift Into Sexual Gear?  has been oddly comforting.

My man simply loves me.
I have much to learn.  About loving him.
Cancer wreaks havoc on a woman's body. Not only is the topography different, the drugs put your
body into menopause overdrive.  Emotions flare.  Desires wane.
I am grateful to You Lord for a man who loves me still.  Who tells me I am beautiful when I struggle
so to believe him--I am doing better Lord.  I am.

The phrase "unto the Lord" has rang true in eating.  In lovemaking.  In life.  In rearing estrogen laden daughters.
In forgiving. Again.
In praying for a daughter far away, studying, studying, studying..
In loving a son learning new life lessons.

Unto You Lord.

Life is not about me.  It's not about you.  Life is about loving God and giving the glory to Him alone.
In eating.  In all aspects of living.

He is faithful,

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