Fragments of lunch on century old table. Water rings on it, telling me,
the teacher, there's always more to be
Pencils still out, books left on a chair.
Dishes in the sink, on the counter.
Students gone--off to the rest of the day.
1993 is when I began this home schooling journey.
I didn't receive much flak from family or friends.
Some thought me to be a "moonbat." I choose thought
because they did not have to say anything really because
they left the unsaid words to their eyes and facial expressions.
I have never looked back.
2012. Two students left. Two graduated. Both employed, making mammon, paying bills,
both leading Bible studies. Both doing their best to incorporate
God into their daily lives. Both "contributing" to society.
One did college. One did not.
Still I would call them a 'success' because I am going by
standards holy--God's ideals of living in this world, not man's.
My two young adults are not perfect, but they are doing well.
I have come to learn that schooling at home is not a guarantee.
I believed at first schooling at home was an iron clad formula; if I put in the "work", went to church
and tithed and tried real hard not to look down my nose at those who
did not home school their children--then mine would "turn out ok."
Definition of ok,= no behavior that would embarrass me as their parent or offend God.
I was so prideful and arrogant. I still lean that way, like an old fence post.
Where your child is educated is not a guarantee of anything other
than their location.
My child can rebel and refuse at home, with me as their teacher, just as well as they can
in a charter school or a public school or a Christian school.
I have witnessed children at home, being educated, leaving all things familiar and sowing wild oats, bringing sorrow upon sorrow to their parents and siblings.
I have observed children from public places, going off to serve God with whole hearts, loving others and Him with intensity and fervor. And sadly, I have seen them choose to eat with pigs in the pig pen, with a parent's eye waiting--watching---- always the horizon for their rebellious silhouette to appear.
It's not about the where of schooling, it's about the how..
Am I fearing God daily and trusting Him to help me in educating my child? Am I humble? Do I care more for His praise than others criticism?
With fear and awe I come into this new year of schooling. I have a senior. My third one. It's hard because you want to offer so much, you want to push them to the edge of the proverbial nest, you want them to "own" their decisions and yet, I cannot rule out the "God factor."
I need to let Him mold them and shape them--which comes by allowing them to choose and some days, not so well. Other days, I am so proud of their actions, decisions and behaviors, I want to jump up and down with praise to God!!
So God, will You help me be used by You? Help me to be the best teacher I can be? Help me to let You work in their hearts/lives and not impede Your plans with mine? I want to provide the framework and let You add the interior to their lives.
Obviously, I believe in home schooling. I think the time, the effort and the influence of the parents is tantamount to good soil, great environment for growth spiritually, emotionally and academically, for a child. I really do. In fact, I believe it is God's best for me and our family AND I believe He led me to it.
I am trying to convey the arrogance I held for many a year that if I did home school, my children would turn out like Billy Graham or Dwight Moody. And if they didn't then I must have used the wrong curriculum? Sent them to the wrong college? Missed the time frame for them taking the ACT? Not read to them enough in the womb? Let them watch too much television?
The point is I want them to turn out like God wants them to. And He is big enough and wise enough to be able to work with them now, as they contribute to society-- as He is when they are learning about government and soil science.
You are faithful God,