Sunday, November 10, 2013

She is Home!

I type Home with a capital H because it represents Heaven.  My home, Becky's too.
She resides there now and I have imagined again and again, her first meeting with
Jesus.. Did she shower His feet with kisses?  I would like to think she did just that. She loves her Savior with such passion, delight and a steady loyalty.  Notice my tense?  loves..Still.  Becky is no longer present on Earth, but she is very,very much alive!

I know she has received the crown of life, because James states this: "Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love him."  James 1:12

Most of you know the story..I "met" her via her husband's blog; introduced on the tail end of my cancer journey, her's just beginning.  Her words resonated with me; she did not feel one bit sorry for herself, she focused on Jesus Christ, and exalting Him during chemo, radiation, and dwelling at home while she was beginning to realize she was dying..

I was able to meet her face to face and boy oh boy, did we have a great time!  Within an hour of standing in her blue bedroom, being hugged SO hard, I was holding the stainless steel bowl, the one used to hold her stomach's contents..  Afterwards,she quipped, " Welcome to Bradford Hall Bonnie!"

 Below, this photo is her realizing I turned my iphone camera around..she laughed real hard and so did I..

Becky gave me a gift.  She allowed me into her suffering.  She let me hold the bowl, she hollered when my  colds hands rubbed in the ointment on her back for pain, she teased me because I had a difficult time remembering which side of her to be on, when I help her amble to the bathroom. 
I am not making light of her suffering, but I am saying, when we enter in to another's world of pain and vomit and thin bones protruding onto taught flesh, we enter into the suffering of our Savior just a wee bit.
We see truth applied via pictures on the wall.  We see a woman holding on to TRUTH, speaking it and encouraging others with it as well.
This truth?
There is more to life than this.  There is Heaven and Jesus and eternity and praising Him forever and ever and ever...
And I also saw a woman who faced her death with resolute certainty of where she was headed and courage knowing it was going to be the most difficult journey of all.
I saw this.  

When my brother died, for whatever reason, I was not allowed in.  I met person after person after person at the funeral home, talking about seeing Steve on last time...I was so hurt by this because a chance to say goodbye?  Well, it offsets the grief somewhat.  Saying "I'll see you in Heaven." softens the maul blow to the heart after death comes. To tell a loved one they are not welcome into the sanctuary of such suffering is meant for good, but robs the loved one of such a precious, tender time.

I am thankful my friend afforded this time to me. 
You see, I have had cancer too.  I KNOW this could be me.  My casket down a two track, headed for a grave. My children weeping and my husband's heart rending in two..

Yet God chose Becky, and my brother to go ahead of me.  It hurts in a place I cannot
conjure up right now..I have wept many tears, especially for her hubby and her family.
I do not have cute sayings or wise words at this moment..I simply am grieving for the loss
of Becky..for emails that encouraged..and made me laugh.
for a heart so passionate about missions and little children in lands far away.
for a woman who loved her husband well and purposely.
for her laugh--oh my!  She laughed while I was there you know-
and I thought, "Take that you nasty cancer cells, take that!"
In her last email to me, I was telling her about my upcoming knee replacement surgery.
Being the ICU nurse that she was, she had some advice. Do not let it seize up, keep moving, etc.
Then she added, "I wish I could come and help you."

That is Becky.  A giver.  With utter abandonment.
Lover of Jesus and His people.
She gave me a power filled example of dying in the face of real Living.
She gave me hope. 
Thank you Becky..I miss you gobs and heaps..I am
praying for your family now..

People, there is more to this life than getting stuff. Than having a nice car or a big home.
Or having your debts paid off.  Or an author of popular books or blogs.
There is this:
"Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys,and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there will your heart  be also."Matthew 6:19,20

The essence of my friend, who has recently received her crown of life--her treasures were laid up in Heaven and her heart reflected it on earth.

Thank You Lord for my friend

1 comment:

Emily Walsh said...

Bonnie, this was truly a heartfelt post and thank you very much for sharing. I was reading a few of your other posts as well on your cancer journey and I had a quick question about your blog. I was hoping you could email me back when you get the chance.